I went to watch Roy on 13th
Feb 2015 and by the time I was leaving the theatre I had a feeling that AAP
& BJP would be re-campaigning for 2019 Delhi elections. I missed out
witnessing so many events in life: several Dharnas by AK, few more statues that
got approved by the government.
The movie tries very hard to
appear intelligent but even people with IQ scores of less than 23 on Facebook
Quiz would have found this offensive. It challenges every aspect of cinematic
brilliance- script that spans over 3 lines can be converted into a 2 hour 45
min movie, foreign beaches if picturized in useless scenes can be worse than watching
Mithi River flow near Kalina.
Cut to a scene in the movie-
Jacqueline aka Aisha Mir is shown
an art movie director. Arjun Rampal aka Vikram Garewal, a commercial Bollywood
director. They meet each other in a Malaysian hotel where Vikram who is a bad
boy of Bollywood for dating 22 different models falls for Aisha who is the good
girl of art cinema. The love-lust relationship between both of them is narrated
in such an unexciting manner that you would rather prefer to watch NGC for the
frog mating episode.
Oh wait! Where does Ranbir fit
into all this? Here’s the suspense for you- he is the hero of the movie which
Vikram Garewal is directing and he finds another Jacqueline (note-not Aisha Mir)
to act with him.
How does the above para sound so
far? Even I was equally clueless and dumb struck as you must be after reading
it. It takes less than imagination to convert this into a movie scene. If
Leonardo was to describe this scene after watching Roy, he would put it as- ‘a nightmare
inside a nightmare inside a nightmare for the audience’.
Let’s not even get into the 2nd
half of the movie. Second half raises the boredom bar by another few levels. The
only reason I think Ranbir would have taken up this movie is to give a strong
message to the audience: ‘Even I can compete with the likes of Shahrukh (read:
Happy New Year), Salman (read: Kick) and feature in movies whose script was
prepared by writer/ directors in their Loo breaks’.
I think the movie director of Roy
would have read ‘Mein Kampf’ and thought to himself ‘so what if I am not born
during the time of Nazis; I can still make lives hell through innovative
torture techniques’. If you are someone
who found AIB Roast offensive and have thought of filing an FIR; make it 3- one
for the director of Roy and second for the critics who would have still rated
this movie well.
Towards the end of the movie; you
will need to question your brain cells- ‘Tu hai ki nahi? Tu hai ki nahi?’
In another news- India beats
Pakistan again; this time on the number of screens people broke after watching
India-Pak match in Pakistan and movie screens after watching Roy in India.
